DATING ADVICE
Are Long Distance Relationships with Foreign Women Worth Your Time?
Quick, think of a date right now. Think of a girl and think of taking her out on a date. You probably picture yourself rolling up to her house and opening the passenger side door for her and letting her into your car before taking her out to a nice dinner and maybe a movie.
The logistics of that date you’re imagining are pretty simple: reservations at a restaurant, movie tickets, and driving distance. But not every date has logistics that are that easy. Some couples have to plan ahead a lot more. They can’t just text their partner a message on the day when they want to take them out that night.
Long-distance couples do not have the privilege of easy logistics. Every date that they go on where they want to be in the same room at the same time has to be planned ahead. Schedules have to be freed up, travel arrangements have to be made, and travel paperwork has to be done properly.
If your relationship leans towards the kind where the logistics get in the way of the actual dating, then you might think that it’s not worth it. You might start thinking that it might be best to cut your losses and try to find someone a little closer to home.
And you might be right. Maybe you’ve fallen into the sunk-cost fallacy wherein you think that you’ve invested too much into a failed venture — be it time, money, or something else — to just admit defeat and give up. Maybe you’ve trapped yourself in that situation and your pride or stubbornness keeps telling you that you can make it work by sheer force of will.
Or maybe you’re right where you need to be and you just need to learn how to manage a relationship wherein your biggest obstacle is geography.
Communicate regularly and openly
Communication is a pretty paramount cornerstone of any relationship, romantic or otherwise. But it’s even more important in a long-distance relationship. Because you can’t be together, you’re going to have to communicate to maintain your connection. If you’re feeling lonely without her, you need to tell her. If she’s having doubts thanks to the distance, you need to let her know that you’re in it for the long haul.
Have an endgame in mind
Long-distance can succeed over a long period of time. But they can’t last forever. There has to be an endgame in mind. You and your other half need to have a goal. You need to decide how many years you’ll be able to do long-distance. You’re going to X amount of years potentially separated by oceans.
You two need to decide when you can make the distance in your long-distance relationship a little less distant. You need to have an endgame in mind, something that you can tell yourself will make it all worth it. Otherwise, you’re just grasping at straws in the dark and you’re going to start feeling like calling it a day might be the best option for you.
You can’t just keep treading water. At some point, you have to swim to shore, but you need to know where the shore is or you end up swimming farther out to sea.
Manage expectations
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you’re probably going to want to see each other as often as possible. You’ve probably got visions in your head of one of you flying out every weekend to see the other.
But the thing about those visions that you’ve got in your head is that reality can often disappoint you. Flying out every weekend may be romantic, but what’s romantic and what’s practical don’t always go hand in hand.
For starters, one or both of you might not always have time to fly out so often. For another, it’s not exactly financially sustainable to buy plane tickets so often. Plane tickets are expensive and even the cheapest flights can add up over time.
So set realistic expectations for how you two can see each other and expect that those times will be far too few and far between for your taste. But it’s not forever. It’s only for a while.
Hang out
Alright, so hanging out while you’re hundreds if not thousands of miles apart might not seem all that feasible. But it is. Thanks to modern technology, it’s completely possible for the two of you to hang out.
Take some kind of video-calling app and then call her. Then you guys can have a little date or a picnic or something. Try to use a tablet or a phone because a phone screen might be a little too small.
And make sure to pick a time when you’re both awake and alert. Don’t forget about time zones. The early evening for you could be three in the morning for her or the middle of the afternoon for her could be right around bedtime for you. So don’t neglect the world clock function that your phone comes with.
Learn her culture
If you really want to make a long-distance relationship with a foreign woman work, then you’re going to have to learn about her culture. Knowing about her culture is going to impress and it’s also going to show off your commitment to her because you wouldn’t have bothered learning if you weren’t committed.
Send gifts
One great way to keep a relationship going when distance keeps you apart is to send gifts. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant and in fact, an extravagant gift may not be all that great to send in the mail because you might have to factor in import taxes and duties if the item is priced high enough.
Long distance relationships with foreign women don’t always work out and there are a lot of times where they just aren’t worth all the time and effort that goes into them. But there are times where they’re not just worth the time and effort, they’re worth so much more. So if you’re trying to decide where yours falls on the spectrum, have an honest talk with your partner.
