INTERRACIAL DATING

How to Avoid Offending Asian Women

Chantana Sun
6 min readNov 16, 2023

Asians, alongside people of other races, are often the targets of derogatory and racist comments. Asian women are often tied to unwelcome remarks about their looks, views, and even their cultural heritage.

Regardless of whether it’s about their views and etiquettes that set them apart from other races or their ‘exotic’ appearances, they’ve become unfortunate subjects of damaging biases that many people seem to ignore and fail to identify as hostile.

If you’re a man who’s serious about pursuing Asian ladies, you have to see them past the stereotypical images that destructively define them. Make yourself worthy of these ladies who have been battling bigotry as it is one of the major concerns that matters to them the most.

A photo of an Asian woman on a red background
Asian women have been fighting hasty generalizations almost all their lives. | Photo by Deden Dicky Ramdhani on Pexels

To avoid offending them, you first should learn the dos and don’ts of their cultural context. You must also start learning cultural appreciation and distinguish it from cultural appropriation.

Take into account the following factors if you want to learn more about how to avoid offending these women in a more profound way:

Assuming that they’re subdued and submissive.

For years, if not decades, the mainstream media has vigorously generalized Asian girls as docile and notably meek.

Much of this can be attributed to the lack of fitting portrayals or proper Asian representation in Western film and TV.

Historically, the portrayal was far worse wherein women from Asia were represented as individuals with fragile and vulnerable personas who were often in greater need of protection and care from overwhelmingly dominant males.

Nevertheless, just because such a faulty perception has existed for a long time does not imply that these women no longer care about the matter. To assume that Asians are content with being perceived as less is slaughtering their personality significantly more.

The mere suggestion that they are submissive to dominant figures, specifically to men, is exceptionally belittling.

Fortunately, a host of famous Asian women fearlessly utilized their platforms to speak out against these harmful prejudices. It is because of them that Asians are now gaining the representation they have been seeking for a long period.

Although these representations aren’t completely realized yet, the least men like you can do is disregard these stereotypes and see these women for who they really are.

Forcing physical contact.

Asians, in contrast to the majority of Westerners, are not huge fans of physical contact, most especially when it comes to hugging and kissing, even though it is a typical way of greeting.

As such, even members of an Asian family aren’t used to these forms of physical contact because they are usually intended only for people committed to intimate relationships.

Hence, it’s just as crucial to understand how Asian girls respond to physical interaction as it is essential to understand how to meet Asian women effectively.

A photo of a couple holding hands.
Physical contact is viewed differently in most South Asian countries. | Photo by Rio Kuncoro on Pexels

Every so often, regardless of whether you’re already in a relationship with an Asian lady, you may need to ask her permission first before engaging in any physical interaction, even if it’s something as basic as holding her hands.

In areas like South Asian countries, discretion is highly regarded, so a man seeking approval first before doing any physical display of affection will be greatly appreciated.

Making fetish comments.

There’s this trend called “Asian fetish,” and it’s the most upsetting thing for the vast majority of Asians, most especially women.

It’s usually referred to as “yellow fever,” as though it were an illness that necessitates medication — and it most likely is.

Men with “yellow fever” exhibit a solid inclination to date Asian women solely because of stereotypical depictions that surround them (subservient, petite, innocent), thanks to the media.

It’s indeed a dangerous fascination that borders on fetishization. In these men’s defenses, it’s only a form of regard, appreciation, and compliment, which is why they insist that Asians should instead be flattered.

They are, however, completely oblivious to the fact that they are highly objectifying and demeaning these women’s sense of identity and character. No sensible woman wants to be the target of a man’s toxic delusions fueled by flawed assumptions.

Take note that fetishizing a woman not only offends her, but also demonstrates your disregard for her dignity and a presumption that you view her as a minority.

Staring at them intently.

Maintaining eye contact during conversations is necessary in most countries. Most Asians, on the other hand, do not consider sustained eye contact or gazing to be socially appropriate behaviors. Staring is very often regarded as impolite, strange, and offensive.

Staring is considered a sign of madness or anger in most Asian countries, such as China. It can also be seen as a form of disdain towards the person being stared upon. An Asian woman would otherwise find it creepy if a man held his gaze on her for quite a while.

If you’re practically seen as a stranger in Asia, don’t cause yourself to appear stupid or poorly educated because it’s common knowledge that staring is highly frowned upon in these countries.

Some Body Language in Asia to Pay Serious Attention To

A photo of Asian women in traditional clothing.
Showcase your appreciation of the cultural diversity in Asia. | Photo by bantersnaps on Unsplash

It’s a well-known fact that Asians are deeply devoted to their conventional principles and values, and veering away from these is viewed as affronting.

If you’re a guy considering a trip to Asia in the near future, keep in mind that failing to understand their social customs would make it more difficult for you to find an Asian woman to date.

Observe and take note of the following body language to further avoid disrupting your attempts to date an Asian female:

  • Never attempt to touch their head because it is considered holy, particularly in Buddhist-majority countries. On the other hand, avoid exposing the soles of your feet because they are deemed the dirtiest part of the human body.
  • Handshakes aren’t recognized as an official greeting throughout every Asian region. For example, people in Japan bow their heads to officially greet someone, while Indians clasp their hands together near their chests.
  • Pointing your fingers should be avoided at all costs, as it is considered highly provocative in countries such as China. On the off chance that you need to gesture something, use your whole hand or palm.
  • Smiles are crucially significant in Thailand. Regardless of whether you’re out in the open, put on your big, brightest smile so as not to appear arrogant or rude.
  • If you happen to have any kind of derogatory remark about Asians eating with their bare hands, be sure to keep it to yourself as it is one way of showing your respect for the cultural diversity in Asia. They will not care either way if you use utensils. If you can’t, just eat without them. Nonetheless, they will readily teach you and educate you about such practice if you show enthusiasm for it.

The Difference Between Cultural Appreciation and Cultural Appropriation

A lot of people are unaware that cultural appreciation and cultural appropriation are two distinct things. If you truly wish to find a life partner among Asians or simply admire Asia for everything it is, understand that cultural appropriation is not something Asian people expect you to do. Cultural appreciation should be your focus.

Appreciation implies that you recognize the culture and do not dismiss it as unimportant or inferior to your own. You’re demonstrating an eagerness to learn about and comprehend the significance of a particular cultural tradition.

Before you fly to Asia to meet and date Asian women, clear your mind of any prejudices you might have about them, their cultural traditions, and their way of life. Only then can you fully grasp and appreciate their beauty and cultural identity.

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Chantana Sun

Online Dating Top Writer | Relationship Consultant and Blogger for Asian Love Mates https://www.asianlovemates.com/