DATING TIPS
The How-To’s of Dating a Single Mother
What’s your relationship deal breaker?
Well, imagine this: You meet a Filipina. She’s sweet, classy, thoughtful — not to mention gorgeous. Basically, she is your ideal girl. You hit it off on your first meeting, everything went smooth, perfect.
But then, boom! She drops a bomb.
She has a child. Now, what would you do?
Would you keep pursuing her? Or, simply break things off?
Your decision is crucial, and with the added responsibility, it could be very easy to jump right off the ship. Of all the possible deal breakers, it had to be this.
But if the chemistry is there, then you absolutely shouldn’t act rash. Instead, consider the possibilities.
Should you continue to date her?
Dating a single mother isn’t much different from dating any other woman, at least for the most part. For most of her time away from her kid, you go on dates and enjoy the same things couples do on any date. Properly weigh in your pros and cons, because if you jump straight into a decision without thinking clearly about it:
1. You might hurt the both of you, or
2. You might just lose a potentially great relationship.
But if you’re already leaning towards a positive choice, and all you need is a little boost of morale, then here are some known advantages of dating a single mom:
1. She is likely a mature woman
Nothing makes a person have to grow up faster than having a child. She may be juggling changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, and earning a living. It takes a certain level of maturity to handle the responsibilities of single-parenthood.
2. She is very patient and committed
Single mothers carry the responsibilities of taking care of their child, of the house, while also taking care of themselves mostly alone. But even with this heavy responsibility, they don’t just give up easily and just simply abandon it any time.
Single mothers are strong. Rearing a child builds character and strength not every woman has. They are truly independent, but that doesn’t mean she won’t have her own needs.
How to win her heart
As her suitor, the responsibility is on you to win her (and her child’s) heart. Be the supportive partner she wishes you to be. Here’s how:
1. Understand her priorities
Going out on romantic getaways, hanging out together, calling each other — more common than not, these won’t be on the top of her responsibilities. She would mostly rather be helping her kid with their homework than doing these.
Remember, most Asian women are family-oriented. They always prioritize their family’s needs over their own. And this is especially the case for single mothers.
As her possible partner, you will need to understand her. Adjust to her work and home schedule. Think of another way for you to spend time together. You may even do it by helping her with her chores, that will surely win her heart.
2. Remember that she’s more than a mother
When it comes to romance, however, make sure you see her as a woman before a mother. Appeal to her womanly side, and don’t make everything revolve around the fact that she’s a mother.
Plan romantic dinners away from her responsibilities, appreciate everything she does, give her the chance to dress up and be a woman — tap into the woman that she is. And don’t make it all about parenting.
3. Be there for her emotionally
Being a single mom can be a lot to handle.
She juggles her work, takes care of her child, feeds them — she’s carrying all these responsibilities alone. Being a shoulder to lean on will be very appreciated. They’ve put in effort to provide their kids emotional, mental and physical support and health, they could use some extra loving for themselves too.
4. Respect your boundaries
As a mother she will be very careful about who she lets in on her kids’ lives. Sometimes, you might want to immediately jump in and act as a father figure to her children. While this can be very honorable, you shouldn’t assume that it’s what she wants.
There are things that she, as a mother to her child first, wants to be in control of. Communicate to your partner about to what extent she’s willing to give you control and decision over her kid, and make sure you respect her decision.
5. Don’t feel pressured about jumping in as a father
On the other hand, if you aren’t ready to stand as a father figure, you might feel pressured to act like a second parent. Especially with seeing the kid all the time, and seeing all the responsibilities a single mom has to juggle everyday — Don’t.
If you start burdening yourself about being someone you’re not ready to be, you will feel yourself backing out from the relationship. Trust yourself, because sooner or later the instinct to become a father will come to you naturally.
Before that happens, focus more on being a supportive partner to your woman and simply being there to help her, and things will definitely work out fine.
6. Enjoy the romance
Sometimes, it’s tough trying to enjoy time on your own since she has her child to take care of. But as they say, when the cat’s away, the mice shall play. In your case: when her child is away or perhaps asleep, then take the opportunity to spend time together.
While dating a single mom can be hard, it can also be fun.
Sometimes, it can even feel more like high school, teenage romance — how you will need to sneak in and be very quiet and stealthy when spending time together. It can feel pretty exciting. And you should embrace this excitement and go with the flow.
Is it going to be worth it?
Dating single mothers can be a lot of responsibility. Especially with having a kid being with you all the time, you might feel it a burden to be with one.
She isn’t looking for someone to father her kid.
Rather, she’s looking for a partner that can take care of her and love her amidst all the responsibilities she has. If you feel a strong emotion towards someone, her kid shouldn’t be the reason for you to back down.
It doesn’t matter if she has a child. If she’s the one for you, then she’s definitely worth your best efforts.
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