How to Be a Better Partner in a Long Distance Relationship

The digital age has made life easier. The internet not only has given us more ways of finding love, but it has also given us ways to sustain it — we’re talking about online long-distance relationships.

Long-distance relationships are not for the weak-willed and faint-hearted. It can be a tough road to take with someone you love. Oftentimes, you will find yourself second-guessing your love and relationship.

It might have been an unconventional way of dating in the past, but now, you can find long-distance couples almost anywhere you look. That’s how common online dating has become.

But how do these couples make it work?

How do they survive the distance that separates them?

Here’s what you should know about dating someone in a long-distance set-up:

Bitter Truths about Being Physically Apart

If only teleportation was possible, there would not be crying couples hugging their pillows alone at night.

Distance aside, there are other harsh realities you need to face in a long-distance relationship, and here are some of them:

1. Loneliness runs deep.

If you’re dating a woman far away from you, you won’t just be physically lonely but also emotionally. You know for a fact that there’s almost no one around you who knows what you’re going through. Some people might comfort you, but it’s not the same. They’re not her.

2. Life seems to be at a standstill.

It’s normal to feel less motivated when you’re in a long-distance relationship. That’s because you don’t have your partner around to inspire and comfort you. It will somehow feel like your life has been placed on hold while everyone else is moving forward.

3. Each other’s milestones can either push you or put pressure on you.

Admit it. Hearing about a partner’s accomplishments while you’re not there for her makes you think that she can do much better by herself. Or worse, you’ll start to believe that she’s better off without you.

Now, you don’t have to be so hard on yourself because you know that’s not true. If she felt the same, why hasn’t she left?

4. It can be costly.

You may not get to see each other often, but that doesn’t save you from the expense of keeping a relationship.

You will have to book flights and plan your vacation ahead of time. You will need to have a stable internet connection and decent electronic gadgets so as not to interrupt your daily conversations and phone calls.

On top of that, sending gifts and packages will also cause a dent in your wallet.

Perhaps you’re frowning at the idea of dating long-distance, but you need to take note that these are not the only reasons why long-distance relationships end.

What Kills Long-Distance Relationships

You must have come across hundreds of books, journals, and blogs stating that dating long-distance is something that requires more work. Well, they do require more than the minimum effort.

While you may think distance is the only denominator you’ll face in comparison to normal relationships, in truth, there is more than just that. Here are some things that are likely to make long-distance relationships end:

1. Frequent and pointless bickering.
2. Unsettled fights and arguments.
3. Fewer visits.
4. Not giving enough time to each other.
5. Keeping secrets from one another.
6. Not giving an effort, or simply not trying at all.
7. Lack of proper communication.
8. Toxic mistrust.
9. Comparing your relationship to that of others.
10. Not knowing how to compromise.
11. Making someone from the opposite sex an outlet for your loneliness.
12. Seeking comfort from other potential partners outside of your relationship.

Becoming a Better Long-Distance Partner

Couples in long-distance relationships need to make twice the effort to make their relationship work and last. Since they are not able to be with each other physically, they will need to make up for it in other ways.

Here are a few tips to become a better partner in a long-distance relationship:

1. Be honest when you’re too tired to talk.

Communication is one of the primary things that help you stay connected with each other.

Having bad days is normal. In some ways, it can affect your communication with each other. When it feels like you’re too exhausted to strike up a conversation with her, tell her directly.

Rather than hanging up, being honest is better.

2. Observe proper and consistent communication.

Create a schedule. Figure out the best time for you to talk.

You may belong to different time zones or probably have conflicting work shifts. To make your communication possible, set an alarm on your phone for scheduled video calls.

At the same time, make sure to check in on her every few hours of the day to make sure she’s doing fine.

Keep in mind that women have different preferences when it comes to this. Some like to have a looser structure when checking in on them as it makes them feel less controlled, on the other hand, some like the opposite.

3. Make your relationship exciting for the two of you.

Don’t just talk during your calls. Instead, take the time you have as an opportunity to do fun things together!

Watch your favorite shows, sing along to your songs, or dance to some upbeat music together. After all, there are tons of things you can do online!

4. Speak her love language.

As a couple, you should be aware of each other’s love language. It will help you to better maneuver your relationship — you’ll know how to treat her and make her feel loved, and she will know how to do the same.

Especially when you’re apart, your woman will appreciate seeing you speak her love language. It proves how you know each other as a person and as a partner.

5. Be a good listener.

When she tells you about her problems and what she’s going through, it doesn’t mean she wants you to fix it for her. She just wants to be heard. So before you make a response, know if she’s asking for solutions or simply just venting out.

Being in a long-distance relationship isn’t forever. Whenever you feel discouraged, remember that your distance is only temporary. Treat it as a mere obstacle that’s meant to test the love you have for each other.

Assure her that physical distance is not a threat to your love. Make her feel that being with you, after all, no matter how far, is one of the best decisions she has made in life.