RELATIONSHIPS
What Are Love Languages and How Can These Help You?
Have you heard about love languages?
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five love languages. These include words of affirmation, acts of service, gift-giving, quality time, and physical touch. These describe the ways each person prefers to express and receive love.
But how can this help in strengthening relationships?
Consider that not all of us have the same love language. You may prefer giving gifts as a way to show your passion. But your partner may favor quality time more. Because of these differences, understanding both of your love languages is very important in a relationship.
Think about it this way. Many couples drift apart because they don’t understand their partner’s love expressions. They just assume that they both have the same preferences. As a consequence, what started as a simple misunderstanding may end with separation.
Do you want your relationship to end?
Of course, you don’t. So, here is a list of the five love languages. Understand what each represents for a healthy relationship.
Words of Affirmation
This love language refers to verbal compliments. This means that your partner views words as a validation.
These can be a normal appreciation of their hair or appearance. The frequent “I love you” and “I miss you.” It can be any verbal encouragement spoken or written.
Now, this might feel normal for you, but this can mean so much to your partner. You need to spell out how much you appreciate their presence. It is their assurance that they are still loved and valued in your relationship.
With this in mind, your verbal compliments should still depend on your partner. If she cares about her looks, compliment her on that matter. If she loves her career, praise her for doing a very good job. Words of affirmation should be tailored in a way that matters to who you’re saying it towards.
Acts of Service
Actions speak louder than words. For people with acts of service as their love language, a task is never a task. It is a sign of affection.
They like to show how much they appreciate the people around them. They want to help make their lives easier. They want to serve the people they treasure.
So, if this is your partner’s love language, it’s time to reciprocate their service.
Bring her a cup of coffee in bed. Volunteer to bring and pick up your kids at school. Do something from her to-do list that will lessen the burden.
One thing to keep in mind, though. Be sincere. Don’t do it because you feel obligated to do so. You should be genuine in offering your time to help your partner. Because she will appreciate your honesty more than forced interest.
Gift-Giving
This love language is pretty straightforward. If your partner shows her affection through gift-giving, then she’ll surely appreciate you reciprocating it.
However, this love language is more than that. The price doesn’t really matter. It is more aimed toward the meaning behind the gift.
Because your partner doesn’t just choose a gift out of the blue. She spends a lot of time thinking about the perfect present. She’ll think about whether it fits you. Or if it will make you happy.
You are her top priority. And she will make sure that this visual symbol of love is tailored to what you really want.
The trick is to understand your partner’s preferences. Learn about the art of gift-giving. Remember that it’s not about the cost. But what your partner will appreciate the most.
Quality Time
When is the last time that you give your undivided attention to your partner?
For someone whose love language is quality time, she feels loved when you make time for her. This can just be a normal 30-minute lunch or a weekend getaway in a tropical destination.
She doesn’t really care about your gifts or your “I love you’s.” She will appreciate it, of course. But what she likes the most is when you give her your undivided attention.
That’s the key for someone whose love language is quality time. Make her feel loved and appreciated. Don’t keep looking at your phone when you’re with each other. Actively listen to what she is saying. Don’t waste her time by getting distracted by other things.
Physical Touch
Is physical touch your partner’s love language? If that’s the case, then make her feel validated by showing physical signs of adoration.
It doesn’t even have to be any dramatic public display of affection. It can just be any simple act, like hugging or holding hands while walking.
The point here is that you make her feel connected with you. Touch her in a subtle, but loving manner. This way, she can feel your warmth and comfort.
Just keep in mind to always ask for her consent. Don’t touch her whenever you want to. Only do it when she agrees. Consider that she’ll appreciate you more when you don’t cross her boundaries.
What If You Have Different Love Languages?
It’s okay to have different love languages.
Many believe that successful couples are the ones who have the same way of showing and receiving love. But there is no study that supports that.
It is easier if you and your partner have the same love language. But having different love expressions should not be a problem.
You and your partner are distinct individuals. Your preferences are different. And the way you show and receive love also differs.
What matters is that you meet halfway.
You communicate your thoughts and ideas with your partner. You understand one another’s love languages. Then, you fulfill each other’s emotional needs.
What Now?
Learning your love language can dramatically help your relationship.
It is pretty essential for couples because it makes you understand your partner more. This also helps prevent problems that may occur in the future.
Besides, according to Dr. Sunny Motamedi, “Discovering you and your partner’s primary love language and speaking that language regularly may (create) a better understanding of each other’s needs and support each other’s growth.”
Thus, your connection will certainly be better when you understand each other’s love language.
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