DATING

Online Dating Guide: How to AVOID being a Lame Dater

Chantana Sun
5 min readJan 18, 2024

Are you the stereotypical nice guy on online dating sites?

If you are, then foreign women must not want you.

They like men with confidence, humor, and wit. They prefer men who excite them and pique their interest. When you’re dating online, women generally want men that other women also want.

Photo by Antoni Shkraba on Pexels

The Story of a Lame Online Dater

Delta males are most likely to struggle when communicating with their potential partners. Though they are naturally hardworking and modest, they have difficulty drawing attention to themselves. No matter how much they try to steal the spotlight, they still end up unnoticed.

Since you are competing against a hundred other potential partners, what you need the most is the one thing that will set you apart from other men.

Is she not getting back at your messages?

Did she leave you on read for hours on end?

Did she ignore your first message?

Instances like this happen if you don’t stand out. To impress your matches, you must step up your dating game.

The Dating Guide No One Told You About

If you’re just like any other guy, don’t expect her to ring you back. She is simply not interested in the ordinary.

Below are some of the most helpful tips you need when dating online:

1. Think that you’re an alpha male.

Adopt an alpha male mindset. However, be careful not to overdo it.

When choosing who to marry, women consider looks, social skills, resources, and lastly, a man’s loyalty.

Once you own the persona of an alpha male, the woman you wish to date will naturally be drawn to you with ease.

2. Sometimes, it’s all about the charm.

You don’t need to have piercing eyes or a defined jawline to attract women. Even with average features, you can still make women notice you.

The key here is to create a dating profile that will give them a great impression of you. You have to show your engaging and unique side. Portray a man who has pure intentions, not only towards dating but in general.

Most importantly, show them that you’re someone who can give what they want.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

3. Let all else do the talking.

Don’t flood your profile with adjectives that women look for in men. That will only make them avoid you even more. After all, they’re still not going to believe what you say, at least about your personality.

If you want her to know you’re a reliable and faithful lover, prove it. Talk about your beliefs on love and fidelity, your social and work ethics, how you value good people, and even how you maintain a close relationship with your family as well.

4. Be the ideal guy she never knew she’d meet.

We all want to be taken care of. It’s great to know there’s someone who looks after us and someone who stays to make sure we’re doing well.

When a woman thinks of dating and marriage, she will choose a man who can support her and the family. If you want to show a woman how capable you are, you don’t necessarily have to brag about your riches.

Instead, talk about the places you’ve been to, how you enjoyed being there, and why it would be great to visit again soon. You can also tell her the personal touches you made for the renovation of your home.

At the same time, telling her about your pet also gives the impression that you’re responsible enough to take care of other beings.

5. Use the art of subtlety.

As mentioned, foreign women prefer men who possess the characteristics of an alpha male. They easily appreciate those who are comfortable in their own skin and can dominate without trampling on others.

Be more attractive to her by using the right kind of photos. Include those where you’re the center of attention in a seemingly good way. When you tell her stories about you, share those that convey your alpha-like personality.

When you go on dates, always confidently carry yourself. Don’t apologize for how you look because that is not how you should be.

Keep in mind that being confident doesn’t equate to being boastful.

6. Be someone you’d want to date.

One of the most effective ways to be a man a lot of women want is to put yourself in their shoes. Make sure that you are the kind of person you want to date if you were a woman.

Photo by Jep Gambardella on Pexels

Talk to your female friends or someone in your family and ask how they would want to be treated on an online dating platform. Gain insights by knowing what they expect from men and relationships in general, and this will give you an idea of how to be at your best behavior when dating your potential partners.

The bottom line is, be sensitive to the feelings of others.

7. Don’t hustle.

Sometimes, the best profile picture is not what you think it is.

Spark interest by using a photo of you not looking and smiling at the camera. Rather use the photos wherein you’re in action or doing something you’re good at.

If you love playing chess, choose a photo that shows you’re making a move. If you love photography, your profile photos should be the ones where you’re taking a shot.

When you get them thinking about how you managed to do your thing just by looking at your profile, then you sure picked the right photo.

8. Forget the setting.

Talk to women as if you’re sitting across from each other at a café. Avoid cutting your messages and speak in complete words. Be classy during your conversations by not using slang and phrases that downgrade your ability to converse smartly.

Women have to like you, and talking to them is your chance to deepen their attraction towards you.

Even if you follow all of these tips, you’ll still fail to meet your match unless you’re on the right dating platform.

Sign up only for reputable dating sites. Your chances of finding decent potential partners are higher on them compared to mainstream dating platforms. Date smart and find higher-quality matches online.

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Chantana Sun

Online Dating Top Writer | Relationship Consultant and Blogger for Asian Love Mates https://www.asianlovemates.com/