RELATIONSHIPS
4 Reasons Why You Fear of Commitment
At some point in our lives, we’ve all thought relationships weren’t worth it. We believed that they took too much time and effort.
Maybe it’s tedious and taxing to some, but most people find happiness in relationships. It’s no different from having a specific ice cream preference.
The reason behind why people are afraid to build relationships, however, may run deeper than just choco chip fudge. There are things you don’t see that grossly affect the grander scheme of things — things like how you were raised as a kid or your past relationships.
There are many factors involved that affect how you view commitment and relationships as a whole. So what are these factors?
Lack of Experience
The lines between the fear of commitment and the lack of desire to commit are often very thin. Even more so when the person in question lacks experience.
Inexperienced people are bound to have a wave of anxiety when exposed to a situation they aren’t equipped to deal with. They get overwhelmed with emotions that may scare them from ever trying again.
Some of them may be too preoccupied with other life challenges that they have no time to deal with relationships. Their lack of desire stems from their unfulfilled needs, thus relationships are the very last thing on their mind.
Either that, or their will to commit just isn’t there yet and they need time to figure themselves out.
Believing that Relationships Hold You Back
Some men often joke that marriage is a life sentence with no refunds. They may play it off as a joke, but there is a hint of fear in them.
They personally believe that they are unable to establish their own identities or independence once married. To some extent, it is true — you have to compromise and make up for the differences you have as a couple.
But that doesn’t exactly mean relationships hold you back. It all depends on who you end up with. If your partner doesn’t support you or encourage you to better your life, then they probably aren’t the one for you.
Having Low Self Esteem
Some people find it hard to believe that they are worthy of love. They close their doors to opportunities because their conscience tells them they aren’t deserving of it.
Fair enough, people with low self-esteem aren’t exactly relationship material. They still have some things they want to work on before changing their priorities. But that doesn’t exactly mean none of them are capable of handling relationships.
Much like everyone else, they go through a trial and error phase where they have to figure out what exactly they are looking for in a partner. But before they can start their search, they want to work on themselves first.
The Possibility of Getting Hurt
Maybe you’ve witnessed it happening with your parents, or you’ve experienced for yourself how relationships can ruin you. They’ve all gone through a bad end and you feel as though, one day, this would happen to you too.
Relationships don’t always lead to disastrous results. Sometimes, it’s the people involved that make it so. Or the unfavorable circumstances therein.
It’s not going to be easy for these people to commit again. It will take some time to heal, especially if the wounds run deep.
The story doesn’t end there, however. There is still more to life than the woes of past relationships. They just have to keep moving forward. Whatever will be, will be.
Suggested read
