DATING & CULTURE
Why Filipinas Make Great Mothers
Parenthood is never easy. In fact, it is one of the most challenging yet fulfilling roles there is in life.
In Filipino culture, it’s a spoken rule for the mother to be given the responsibility to raise the child. Although Filipinos are learning to develop a wider sense of perspective, there is still a large percentage of people that still believe that the responsibility lies with the mother.
Filipino moms are often revered as resilient, and they are indeed worthy of such praise. After all, it’s not easy to balance your career and your personal life at the same time. Many of them barely have time to spare for themselves!
Now, this isn’t an attempt to romanticize the struggles that a Filipina mother goes through. Rather, this is an acknowledgment of a job well done. Because these women deserve more recognition for doing their very best to fulfill their roles as parents.
Filipino moms lead different walks of life. There are some who are well-off, some who are barely getting by, and some who are still figuring themselves out. But no matter how comfortable their lives appear to be, they have certainly made sacrifices along the way.
This begs the question: what motivates these women to try to be excellent mothers in the first place?
Filipino Family Values
It’s no secret how tight-knit most Filipinas are with their families. After all, family is considered to be the foundation of social life for most Filipinos.
Whenever possible, family-oriented Filipinas would prefer to live in their parent’s house than to live alone.
Filipinas handle adulthood very differently than other cultures. In contrast to Western parents who raise their children to leave the nest as soon as possible (usually at the age of 18), Filipino children aren’t required to leave their homes and live on their own.
This eventually causes them to be quite dependent on their family. Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing unless done in excess.
With the values instilled in them as children, most of them were able to work things out. The values responsible for this are:
Pakikisama
Pakikisama is a general yearning to be accepted and well-liked by your community. This would literally translate to “helping others.”
This is the Filipino that fosters a healthy cooperation between their family. You would be able to witness this firsthand in a Filipino party or a family reunion.
For sure, there will be at least 30 family members (from direct families to in-laws) who will be attending the gathering. To celebrate their get together, they prepare lechon, the karaoke machine, and several cases of beer.
It’s highly encouraged for family members to mingle with one another to strengthen family ties. Filipino moms will make it a point to let their children be close to extended relatives by bringing their children to reunions, Sunday lunches, and fiestas. This is to ensure that her children will be treated well within the family.
Paggalang
Paggalang means to be respectful or to give respect to a person. Filipino mothers would remind and show their children that they need to show their respect towards their elders. This is often done in the form of honorifics or mano po.
What is mano po, you ask? Mano po is a sign of respect wherein you raise the hand of the elders to touch your forehead.
As for the honorifics, the most common ones that Filipinos use are Ate (Elder sister), Kuya (Older brother), Tita (Aunt), Tito (Uncle), Lola (grandmother), and Lolo (grandfather). You can also use these honorifics to someone you aren’t closely related to.
Besides that, it’s highly looked down upon to call your parents by their first names, even as adults. It’s always a given to call parents by “Ma” or “Pa” depending on what has been practiced at home.
Pagmamalasakit sa kapwa
At an early age, Filipinos are taught the importance of pagmamalasakit sa kapwa, or understanding how to express concern and empathy for others.
If they notice that someone is struggling, especially if it is a friend or family member, they will strive to assist as much as possible. This value is often practiced in the form of bayanihan. This is a practice wherein when any member of the community is in need, others pitch in with what they can, no questions asked.
This trait is what helps Filipinas get in touch with their motherly instincts. Women are generally known to be a lot more empathic and Filipinas are no exception to that.
Pagpapahalaga sa Pamilya
In English, this means to value your family.
Filipinos place a strong emphasis on their families and regard them as their moral support. This is why filial piety is among the most highly regarded instilled values in the Filipino community today.
It’s the main reason why Overseas Filipino Workers are growing in numbers.
You might have encountered a Filipino nurse in a hospital before. Many of these nurses are mothers who are working hard to provide for their children.
There are tons of heartbreaking stories similar to these in Filipino media. They speak of tales about mothers who are living apart from their children in order to give them a better life. And the main reason why these kinds of stories gain a lot of exposure is mainly because most of them are going through the exact same thing.
A Mother’s Unconditional Love
Filipinas raise their children with the exact same values they were taught as a kid. And because of the close family ties most Filipinos have, these children are often raised surrounded by the love of family members.
This kind of environment allows the child to develop the same kind of attitude as he/she grows into an adult.
These mothers are driven by their unconditional love to fulfill their children’s needs and want to ensure a healthy upbringing. Their children are their source of motivation to keep on going and brave through various life challenges.
For many of these Filipina mothers, there’s no greater joy than seeing their children strive under their care. They ask for nothing from their children but their love as well.
