RELATIONSHIPS
Why Do Couples Fight?
All couples throughout history, even dating back to Before the Common Era (BCE), have experienced relationship problems. More surprisingly, most relationships never seem to find solutions, no matter how prevalent and repetitive their issues are.
Some careers, like couples therapy and marriage counseling, were born and are now thriving from these seemingly perpetual riddles.
So, what are some of the most common reasons that have brought most couples running to their nearest confidants, therapists, or counselors?
Condescension
There is nothing more infuriating than having the person you trust the most not have your back regardless of whether they are condescending because of their ego or just out of spite.
Even if it is not about your significant other or relationship, they seem to have a knack for invalidating whatever you say. There is even a term for men who often give women unsolicited side comments or explanations — mansplaining.
You and your romantic partner should always have each other’s backs unless it crosses over into moral matters.
Possessiveness
As the saying goes, “there is always time for everything.”
It is normal if your significant other demands your time and full attention whenever you are on dates. What is certainly not healthy is when they ask you to skip your next meeting so you can make room for a date with them.
You and your romantic partner should respect each other’s boundaries and never come between each other’s lives outside your relationship.
Jealousy
Being jealous is all right, mind you, because it means that your significant other cares enough to be bothered by a potential threat to your relationship. What is not all right is being extra jealous to the point of disapproving you from hanging out with friends (or sometimes even family!).
If the jealousy of your romantic partner intensifies their possessiveness, then you are probably in a situation wherein you might as well tie yourself with a leash and let them hold it.
Here are a couple of good pieces of advice: When in doubt, ask. And never assume unless otherwise stated.
You and your romantic partner should keep from disrupting the relationships you have outside your relationship (e.g., family and friends).
Dependence
It is one thing if your significant other has a hard time deliberating on life-changing decisions. It is another thing if they cannot ever make decisions without you around.
It may sound like your romantic partner is indecisive; however, they can be very decisive about many things as long as they have your input, but they seem to lose that ability when you are out of the picture. Worse, some would even have you decide for them most of the time!
You and your romantic partner should be able to function independently.
Codependence
Being dependent and codependent are entirely different concepts.
There is codependence when your partner enables your self-destructive tendencies. More specifically, they condone your condescension, possessiveness, jealousy, and dependence. They will justify everything you do; after all, they take everything about you as their own.
You and your romantic partner should always be aware that you are not each other’s entire world. With due respect, there is more to life than your relationship.
Indeed, relationship problems are inevitable, especially when relationships typically bring in two individuals with differing opinions. However, they are not that bad most of the time. It is more about how couples deal with conflicts, not what they are fighting about.
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